








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 842 | 26% |
| Smokes | 794 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 719 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,414 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAdeRup VVS | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Harboe | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Mikpeder | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | metro | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | Tirs | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mikpeder | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | metro | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | Tirs | 46% | 83 |
| #6 | Harboe | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | Jødefar | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikpeder | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Tirs | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Jødefar | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Harboe | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tirs | 275 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jødefar | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | metro | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 60 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | 42 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harboe | +3.86 | 72 | 47 |
| #2 | Harboe | +2.47 | 67 | 50 |
| #3 | metro | +1.91 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | Tirs | +1.72 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | +1.64 | 67 | 71 |





