








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1262 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 948 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 952 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,728 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harboe | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | AAdeRup VVS | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | Niller | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 46% | 138 |
| #5 | Tirs | 46% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Niller | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 46% | 138 |
| #5 | Tirs | 46% | 145 |
| #6 | ShaBloze | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Jødefar | 42% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAdeRup VVS | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Mikpeder | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Jødefar | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Niller | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Tirs | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tirs | 501 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | AAdeRup VVS | 180 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jødefar | 137 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 130 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Niller | 73 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harboe | +2.70 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | metro | +1.47 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Tirs | +0.80 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | ShaBloze | -0.01 | 81 | 51 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | -0.41 | 71 | 60 |





