








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 723 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1488 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1228 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,179 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaBloze | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Harboe | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Tirs | 46% | 134 |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 44% | 124 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tirs | 46% | 134 |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 44% | 124 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | metro | 42% | 111 |
| #7 | Niller | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tirs | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | metro | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Niller | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Mikpeder | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tirs | 460 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mikpeder | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | AAdeRup VVS | 99 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | metro | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Niller | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harboe | +2.30 | 78 | 46 |
| #2 | metro | +1.53 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | Tirs | +0.62 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | ShaBloze | +0.40 | 74 | 44 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | -0.14 | 72 | 57 |





