








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2305 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2441 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1920 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,522 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harboe | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Harboe | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Mikpeder | 48% | 162 |
| #4 | ShaBloze | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ShaBloze | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | AAdeRup VVS | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Jødefar | 46% | 134 |
| #7 | metro | 46% | 145 |
| #8 | Niller | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metro | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Niller | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Jødefar | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Harboe | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Mikpeder | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jødefar | 156 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mikpeder | 154 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | AAdeRup VVS | 132 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | metro | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Niller | 81 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harboe | +4.34 | 74 | 47 |
| #2 | Harboe | +2.37 | 69 | 52 |
| #3 | metro | +1.65 | 76 | 51 |
| #4 | Tirs | +0.81 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | ShaBloze | -0.05 | 77 | 51 |





