










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 135 | 24% |
| Smokes | 148 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 181 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,700 of utility $302 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RasvaMauri | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | sil3nt | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | esa | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | hefa | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sil3nt | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | esa | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | hefa | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | Aksu | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aksu | 70 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 58 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | esa | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | hefa | 52 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | sil3nt | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RasvaMauri | +2.75 | 70 | 83 |
| #2 | Aksu | +2.24 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | esa | +1.75 | 50 | 74 |
| #4 | hypb | -0.41 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | hefa | -1.23 | 38 | 70 |





