








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4172 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3001 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3221 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3173 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,177 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mizq | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | sil3nt | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | bobi | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | hefa | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Alikessu | 51% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alikessu | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Pasi Kuivalainen | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | sil3nt | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | mizq | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alikessu | 408 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | [-Puijo-] moll1 | 211 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pasi Kuivalainen | 195 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | batiGOOOL | 167 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | hefa | 104 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alikessu | +3.21 | 79 | 89 |
| #2 | mizq | +2.26 | 64 | 79 |
| #3 | RasvaMauri | +1.91 | 60 | 73 |
| #4 | bobi | +0.79 | 62 | 81 |
| #5 | esa | +0.64 | 48 | 73 |





