








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2635 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1918 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1939 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1886 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,704 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torumees | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | FunnyTurtles12 | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | ɾҽҽɾ | 69% | 39 |
| #4 | marx | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Vesper | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bo$$u. | 49% | 57 |
| #9 | Drimksu | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | topg | 47% | 30 |
| #11 | zai | 46% | 28 |
| #12 | lõngus | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bo$$u. | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ɾҽҽɾ | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | mhkl | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | Drimksu | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | topg | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topg | 106 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bo$$u. | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | marx | 92 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Vesper | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ɾҽҽɾ | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torumees | +6.22 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | ɾҽҽɾ | +3.50 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | ヌースカイネン | +2.03 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Armadyl | +1.90 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | Vesper | +1.00 | 86 | 61 |





