








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 186 | 22% |
| Smokes | 246 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 133 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,127 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comiskey | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ser3ne | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Fluke | 100% | 6 |
| #4 | jefe | 100% | 12 |
| #5 | elqu | 83% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | hem | 73% | 11 |
| #7 | e0x#6Lv%w | 71% | 7 |
| #8 | High, I'm Hi | 67% | 3 |
| #9 | duwap kaine | 64% | 11 |
| #10 | gugita | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elqu | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | ser3ne | 1 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jefe | 114 | 0.44 | 3 min |
| #2 | gugita | 63 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | hem | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fluke | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | duwap kaine | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluke | +5.16 | 87 | 40 |
| #2 | comiskey | +3.38 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | hem | +2.93 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | jefe | +1.89 | 83 | 82 |
| #5 | Dirty Harry | +1.81 | 65 | 48 |





