








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 819 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6912 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6522 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4659 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3485 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,922,910 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | titmouse | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | quasi | 49% | 197 |
| #3 | hem | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | gugita | 48% | 367 |
| #5 | elqu | 44% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | titmouse | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | quasi | 49% | 197 |
| #3 | hem | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | gugita | 48% | 367 |
| #5 | elqu | 44% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gugita | 34 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | elqu | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | titmouse | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | quasi | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | hem | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gugita | 1559 | 0.21 | 40 min |
| #2 | quasi | 619 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | hem | 312 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | elqu | 185 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | titmouse | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | titmouse | +2.54 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | hem | +1.13 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | quasi | +0.51 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | duwap kaine | +0.09 | 53 | 50 |
| #5 | gugita | -1.02 | 47 | 73 |





