








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1483 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1215 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,637 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whothefucisherny | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | ramiN | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | MBH40 | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Tron | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Sulin | 53% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | powerhudson | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | nuhgnaK | 49% | 99 |
| #8 | ☆ GTare22 ガエターノ | 49% | 49 |
| #9 | TrashBash#666 | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | ICON | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulin | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | TrashBash#666 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ☆ GTare22 ガエターノ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | powerhudson | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulin | 810 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | Tron | 200 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | TrashBash#666 | 178 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | nuhgnaK | 163 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | powerhudson | 154 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulin | +2.46 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | nuhgnaK | +0.76 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | Tron | +0.62 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | ☆ GTare22 ガエターノ | +0.02 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | whothefucisherny | -0.31 | 55 | 59 |





