








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1442 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 68,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20082 | 29% |
| Smokes | 18406 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12395 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 17561 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,260,637 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1dlesniper | 57% | 150 |
| #2 | betoooo0ooo | 57% | 548 |
| #3 | Tron | 57% | 102 |
| #4 | powerhudson | 57% | 88 |
| #5 | mea | 57% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | whothefucisherny | 54% | 253 |
| #10 | dosso | 53% | 162 |
| #11 | TrashBash#666 | 51% | 113 |
| #12 | nuhgnaK | 51% | 220 |
| #13 | ☆ GTare22 ガエターノ | 47% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBH40 | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | betoooo0ooo | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | TrashBash#666 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | mea | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ☆ GTare22 ガエターノ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | betoooo0ooo | 1059 | 0.09 | 26 min |
| #2 | MBH40 | 894 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #3 | PATRYKN | 644 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #4 | whothefucisherny | 601 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #5 | dosso | 556 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulin | +1.63 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | 1dlesniper | +1.55 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | PATRYKN | +1.35 | 89 | 73 |
| #4 | Tron | +1.00 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | mea | +0.83 | 84 | 55 |





