








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1315 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1271 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1639 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1631 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,224 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | lil fracker | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | condoriano | 63% | 56 |
| #4 | tan | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | Kristjan | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | hipstar [k] | 55% | 121 |
| #11 | Massive Jack | 53% | 36 |
| #12 | Rengoku | 50% | 28 |
| #13 | CnR | 50% | 68 |
| #14 | Capricorn | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipstar [k] | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | CnR | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | condoriano | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Rengoku | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Massive Jack | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipstar [k] | 307 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | condoriano | 170 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Massive Jack | 97 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | CnR | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rengoku | 69 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pellow | +4.77 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | CnR | +2.72 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | lil fracker | +1.95 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | kev | +1.61 | 66 | 44 |
| #5 | condoriano | +1.50 | 73 | 77 |





