








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3090 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3127 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3001 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,621 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pellow | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | condoriano | 61% | 89 |
| #3 | LNHRT | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | lil fracker | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | tan | 56% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Rengoku | 49% | 47 |
| #11 | Massive Jack | 44% | 88 |
| #12 | Kristjan | 44% | 43 |
| #13 | Prammy | 35% | 20 |
| #14 | Capricorn | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iAvenge | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | condoriano | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | CnR | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Massive Jack | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Rengoku | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | condoriano | 278 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Massive Jack | 253 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | iAvenge | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | tan | 162 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | CnR | 155 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pellow | +5.45 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | CnR | +3.53 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | condoriano | +1.45 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | iAvenge | +1.35 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | lil fracker | +0.57 | 73 | 46 |





