










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1516 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2494 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1605 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1360 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,204 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexurio | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Timothy | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Flodo | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Fremy | 50% | 114 |
| #5 | Nyt0ft | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexurio | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Timothy | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Flodo | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Fremy | 50% | 114 |
| #5 | Nyt0ft | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fremy | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Nyt0ft | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fremy | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nyt0ft | 41 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Lexurio | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Flodo | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Timothy | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyt0ft | +2.87 | 80 | 39 |
| #2 | Fremy | +1.28 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | Timothy | +0.50 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | H_nter | -0.69 | 60 | 73 |
| #5 | Flodo | -1.76 | 65 | 51 |





