








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 713 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 181 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6951 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10196 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6762 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6439 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,441,809 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4ckstreetboys | Hunter Biden | 54% | 109 |
| #2 | x-pl0it | 54% | 257 |
| #3 | Sir Arthur Harris, 1st Baronet | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | Koschilein ~Ks~ | 52% | 355 |
| #5 | .teil | 50% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .teil | 21 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Koschilein ~Ks~ | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | georgio13 | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Atrox | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Cr4cky | 10 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | georgio13 | 1459 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | Koschilein ~Ks~ | 641 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Atrox | 324 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Cr4cky | 320 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Zaibatsu | 279 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koschilein ~Ks~ | +3.45 | 50 | 62 |
| #2 | Ken0 | +1.99 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Cr4ckstreetboys | Hunter Biden | +1.78 | 42 | 49 |
| #4 | .teil | +1.43 | 41 | 65 |
| #5 | Egeland | +1.22 | 45 | 68 |





