










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 747 | 28% |
| Smokes | 730 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 648 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,760 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kmarketti | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | borgu | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Juide | 60% | 63 |
| #4 | Jönssi | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | RANKAISIJA | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juide | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jönssi | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | stormbergg | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | don löpä | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | RANKAISIJA | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juide | 241 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | stormbergg | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jönssi | 88 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | don löpä | 56 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | RANKAISIJA | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | borgu | +3.26 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Jönssi | +2.35 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | MÄNTÄ | +2.19 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Kmarketti | +1.60 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | Juide | +0.92 | 44 | 66 |





