










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 886 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1800 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2659 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2694 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1740 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,805 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɯ:ɹƃ | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Ashe | 57% | 105 |
| #3 | Bing | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | panda1ap | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | 🗲spacePuppy | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | muslim racho | 52% | 27 |
| #8 | 🌸Lily🌸 | 52% | 54 |
| #9 | Russ | 51% | 51 |
| #10 | Cardi Bwead | 47% | 47 |
| #11 | Fuzzy3 | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil' Pants | 10 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | panda1ap | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | 🌸Lily🌸 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ɯ:ɹƃ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Ashe | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashe | 462 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | panda1ap | 155 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | 🌸Lily🌸 | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | 🗲spacePuppy | 96 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bing | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draws | +4.94 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Russ | +0.83 | 63 | 48 |
| #3 | 🗲spacePuppy | +0.14 | 48 | 60 |
| #4 | ɯ:ɹƃ | -0.06 | 85 | 33 |
| #5 | Ashe | -0.62 | 66 | 67 |





