








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2300 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2862 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1341 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,515 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draws | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ɯ:ɹƃ | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Lil' Pants | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Russ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Ashe | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tar Dead | 455 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ashe | 416 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Bing | 160 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | muslim racho | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Draws | 107 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draws | +4.24 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | 🗲spacePuppy | +1.36 | 53 | 62 |
| #3 | Russell3 | +1.33 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | Russ | +1.31 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | ɯ:ɹƃ | +1.30 | 83 | 34 |





