








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 905 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6637 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3413 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5224 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1060 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,900,708 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Bing | 44% | 89 |
| #12 | a beedrill | 43% | 65 |
| #13 | Cardi Bwead | 37% | 62 |
| #14 | Russ | 36% | 53 |
| #15 | Ree Tar Dead | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tar Dead | 362 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bing | 260 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | 🗲spacePuppy | 227 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Draws | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | a beedrill | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draws | +4.82 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | ɯ:ɹƃ | +1.85 | 85 | 26 |
| #3 | a beedrill | +1.00 | 70 | 45 |
| #4 | Russ | +0.94 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | 🗲spacePuppy | +0.59 | 52 | 62 |





