








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2080 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2998 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4628 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1649 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,842 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Momo | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | ɯ:ɹƃ | 51% | 133 |
| #3 | Draws | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Lil' Pants | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | spookygoats | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil' Pants | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ɯ:ɹƃ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Fuzzy3 | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Draws | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | 🗲spacePuppy | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ree Tar Dead | 573 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | Bing | 261 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ashe | 251 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | 🗲spacePuppy | 225 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | muslim racho | 203 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draws | +6.00 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | ɯ:ɹƃ | +2.92 | 86 | 35 |
| #3 | Russ | +1.68 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | 🗲spacePuppy | +1.23 | 50 | 64 |
| #5 | Ashe | +1.08 | 69 | 68 |





