








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1820 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1411 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2341 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1474 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,821 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennon | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | pintatortoise | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | localsilver | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Bidet | 46% | 117 |
| #5 | Holocene | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pintatortoise | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | localsilver | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Bidet | 46% | 117 |
| #5 | Holocene | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | Gza | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bidet | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | localsilver | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bidet | 249 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lennon | 64 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | localsilver | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gza | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Holocene | 27 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennon | +4.81 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | pintatortoise | +1.96 | 61 | 47 |
| #3 | Bidet | +1.74 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | localsilver | +0.45 | 44 | 54 |
| #5 | Holocene | -0.14 | 56 | 74 |





