








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 829 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1443 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1921 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 959 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,148 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mazy2k^ | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | ThorRAW | 53% | 129 |
| #3 | Checkof | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Friendly Neighborhood Marmot | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Stuart | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Stuart | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | freddieeeee | 47% | 184 |
| #7 | Sebolat | 47% | 103 |
| #8 | b3ntastic | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | giorgiking2 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freddieeeee | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ThorRAW | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Sebolat | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ✪ mazy2k^ | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freddieeeee | 1133 | 0.29 | 35 min |
| #2 | Sebolat | 387 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | ThorRAW | 131 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ mazy2k^ | 119 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stuart | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ mazy2k^ | +5.14 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | freddieeeee | +2.14 | 58 | 76 |
| #3 | Sebolat | +0.35 | 44 | 62 |
| #4 | Stuart | +0.33 | 48 | 58 |
| #5 | Checkof | -0.57 | 28 | 47 |





