








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 19% |
| Smokes | 975 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 928 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,603 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StorJimmy | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Xedge™ | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | SpaceShorts | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | JimmyPotato'_' | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StorJimmy | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Xedge™ | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | SpaceShorts | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | JimmyPotato'_' | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpaceShorts | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | JimmyPotato'_' | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xedge™ | 207 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | JimmyPotato'_' | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | SpaceShorts | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | 26 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | StorJimmy | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xedge™ | +0.66 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | JimmyPotato'_' | +0.16 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | Noxe | -0.11 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | -0.42 | 28 | 67 |
| #5 | SpaceShorts | -0.50 | 42 | 65 |





