








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4136 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3877 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2592 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,589 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StorJimmy | 50% | 66 |
| #2 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | 50% | 106 |
| #3 | SpaceShorts | 49% | 104 |
| #4 | JimmyPotato'_' | 48% | 223 |
| #5 | Noxe | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Noxe | 48% | 83 |
| #6 | Palmzi | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | Alunia ❤ | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | Jimmy Cap Jr | 44% | 59 |
| #9 | j4nni | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyPotato'_' | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | SpaceShorts | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Jimmy Cap Jr | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Alunia ❤ | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyPotato'_' | 433 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | 265 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jimmy Cap Jr | 265 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | StorJimmy | 162 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Noxe | 137 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palmzi | +4.88 | 94 | 48 |
| #2 | JimmyPotato'_' | +0.89 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | Xedge™ | +0.84 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | Jimmy Cap Jr | +0.38 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | JIMMY196cm20cm60kg | +0.27 | 41 | 64 |





