








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1268 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 817 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,483 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpaceShorts | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Jimmy Cap Jr | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Xedge™ | 50% | 106 |
| #5 | JimmyPotato'_' | 47% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Xedge™ | 50% | 106 |
| #5 | JimmyPotato'_' | 47% | 118 |
| #6 | StorJimmy | 41% | 71 |
| #7 | j4nni | 38% | 21 |
| #8 | SirRR | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyPotato'_' | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jimmy Cap Jr | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | SpaceShorts | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyPotato'_' | 269 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 242 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jimmy Cap Jr | 202 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | StorJimmy | 167 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | j4nni | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | +2.34 | 60 | 45 |
| #2 | SpaceShorts | +2.14 | 56 | 71 |
| #3 | JimmyPotato'_' | +1.56 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | Xedge™ | +1.45 | 87 | 65 |
| #5 | Jimmy Cap Jr | +1.06 | 64 | 72 |





