








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2154 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2314 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2374 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2624 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,762 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Cyrus | 56% | 194 |
| #3 | Mr.Lahey © SvalbardAim | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | ✪ SiPe2K™ | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Eggsen | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Cyrus | 56% | 194 |
| #3 | Mr.Lahey © SvalbardAim | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | ✪ SiPe2K™ | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Eggsen | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Lahey © SvalbardAim | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Cyrus | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | ✪ SiPe2K™ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Lahey © SvalbardAim | 254 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Eggsen | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cyrus | 165 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ SiPe2K™ | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Leifssson™ | +2.96 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | Mr.Lahey © SvalbardAim | +0.66 | 45 | 66 |
| #3 | Andjias IraquiPeek | +0.46 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Cyrus | +0.30 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | ✪ SiPe2K™ | -0.43 | 58 | 66 |





