








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 429 | 30% |
| Smokes | 418 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 196 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 392 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,002 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace Ventura | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Ölde #niceC | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | fogel | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Swizzy. #1 Dosia fanboy | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swizzy. #1 Dosia fanboy | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | fogel | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Ace Ventura | 1 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Ölde #niceC | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Swizzy. #1 Dosia fanboy | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Frendt | 22 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | fogel | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | beticA | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fogel | +4.64 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | Panzerby (nie toxic) | +3.11 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | ALI | +1.99 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | TrampelTommi | +1.69 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | Swizzy. #1 Dosia fanboy | -0.69 | 73 | 65 |





