








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 287 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3004 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2731 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3022 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3009 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,561 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeyItzWerty | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Ne4Lackin | 63% | 70 |
| #3 | supyrk | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | JoeyTheBiggest | 52% | 136 |
| #5 | Killj0y | 50% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | supyrk | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | JoeyTheBiggest | 52% | 136 |
| #5 | Killj0y | 50% | 153 |
| #6 | syper | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | linK | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeyTheBiggest | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Killj0y | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | HeyItzWerty | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | supyrk | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Ne4Lackin | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killj0y | 862 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | JoeyTheBiggest | 823 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #3 | supyrk | 317 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | syper | 245 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | HeyItzWerty | 171 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ne4Lackin | +1.60 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | syper | +1.57 | 77 | 75 |
| #3 | linK | +1.04 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Maverick | +0.50 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | JoeyTheBiggest | +0.45 | 74 | 66 |





