








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1741 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2846 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1715 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,237 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kevinnnbacon | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | Midget Spinner | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | Aaronairo | 37% | 46 |
| #10 | TrAnEcId | 35% | 31 |
| #11 | MonstrO | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sp1cy | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Midget Spinner | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Aaronairo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | MonstrO | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | brolexican | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brolexican | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Aaronairo | 112 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sp1cy | 108 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | MonstrO | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Midget Spinner | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koaskrokette | +1.65 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Aaronairo | +1.54 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Sp1cy | +1.35 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | Kevinnnbacon | +0.55 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Midget Spinner | -0.64 | 39 | 74 |





