








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 20% |
| Smokes | 361 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 680 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 446 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $689,139 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pointerless | 46% | 57 |
| #6 | Bozkat | 42% | 92 |
| #7 | Razza215 | 40% | 45 |
| #8 | YaContinuamos | 40% | 45 |
| #9 | S2Kreeper | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bozkat | 33 | 0.0185 |
| #2 | Literal Trash | 29 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | Razza215 | 12 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | pointerless | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | YaContinuamos | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bozkat | 181 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Literal Trash | 175 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | pointerless | 111 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Razza215 | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | YaContinuamos | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regal | +4.77 | 74 | 30 |
| #2 | b a k a | +0.40 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | pointerless | -0.01 | 38 | 61 |
| #4 | Literal Trash | -1.14 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Fred Trippin' | -1.38 | 59 | 30 |





