








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 25% |
| Smokes | 680 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 560 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,494 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egem | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | nikotini-_- | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Fyzx | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | MH | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Prydz | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fyzx | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | MH | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Prydz | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | sepan | 47% | 62 |
| #7 | Løkka | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Løkka | 7 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | sepan | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Prydz | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | MH | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepan | 275 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Løkka | 92 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fyzx | 42 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | egem | 36 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Prydz | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MH | +4.07 | 92 | 45 |
| #2 | Fyzx | +1.16 | 79 | 82 |
| #3 | Løkka | +0.62 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | nikotini-_- | +0.49 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | sepan | +0.27 | 73 | 63 |





