








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 2,064 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 684 | 21% |
| Smokes | 876 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 719 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 959 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,248 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepan | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Dino<3 | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | B0ris | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Niemaaier | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Prydz | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VNTY | Xijing Ping Peek | 5 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | B0ris | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | sepan | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Ennis | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | TheRealFrody | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanFrekkeJævel'n | 202 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ennis | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | sepan | 68 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheRealFrody | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rad1o | 53 | 0.17 | 1 min |





