








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3415 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2579 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2163 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2389 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,574 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alo | 54% | 134 |
| #2 | sepan | 49% | 187 |
| #3 | Laars84 | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | 🏴☠️🟠 | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Prydz | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alo | 54% | 134 |
| #2 | sepan | 49% | 187 |
| #3 | Laars84 | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | 🏴☠️🟠 | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Prydz | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepan | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | alo | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Laars84 | 5 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | 🏴☠️🟠 | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Prydz | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepan | 721 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | alo | 530 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Laars84 | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | 🏴☠️🟠 | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Prydz | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Løkka | +2.05 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | sepan | +0.81 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | 🏴☠️🟠 | +0.17 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | Laars84 | -0.42 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | alo | -1.80 | 46 | 57 |





