








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3804 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2706 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2864 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2869 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,175 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smidty | 52% | 64 |
| #2 | CheeseBreeze | 50% | 113 |
| #3 | WhoAmI|Ramjay | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | ropsu | 49% | 214 |
| #5 | Kontrabandist | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ropsu | 49% | 214 |
| #5 | Kontrabandist | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | DarkLord | 48% | 143 |
| #7 | Nex (>'-')> | 48% | 160 |
| #8 | TheCuke | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropsu | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | DarkLord | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Nex (>'-')> | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | CheeseBreeze | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | WhoAmI|Ramjay | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropsu | 695 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | CheeseBreeze | 463 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | DarkLord | 408 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nex (>'-')> | 301 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | TheCuke | 209 | 0.37 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kontrabandist | +2.65 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | ropsu | +1.82 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | WhoAmI|Ramjay | +0.76 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | MyDexter | -0.06 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | DarkLord | -0.47 | 68 | 63 |





