








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1302 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1210 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,145 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | p2 | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | Edpls♿ | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | finlanderi | 49% | 51 |
| #9 | sli♿itiN | 47% | 86 |
| #10 | danzane | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topi ♿ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | sli♿itiN | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | danzane | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | pirssi^ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Edpls♿ | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topi ♿ | 554 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | pirssi^ | 246 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | sli♿itiN | 212 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | LoA | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | finlanderi | 141 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulju | +3.48 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | finlanderi | +1.80 | 92 | 61 |
| #3 | pakedi♿ | +1.51 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | LoA | +0.98 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | danzane | +0.36 | 69 | 68 |





