








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2688 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2519 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1114 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2052 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,846 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulju | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Veikko Bursti | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | LoA | 61% | 77 |
| #4 | Normaali | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | pakedi♿ | 55% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | p2 | 49% | 43 |
| #9 | sli♿itiN | 48% | 94 |
| #10 | Edpls♿ | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | finlanderi | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | danzane | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pakedi♿ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | sli♿itiN | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | danzane | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | LoA | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | pirssi^ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pakedi♿ | 332 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | sli♿itiN | 221 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | pirssi^ | 187 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | LoA | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | danzane | 136 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Normaali | +6.20 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | bulju | +3.22 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | Veikko Bursti | +2.24 | 74 | 75 |
| #4 | finlanderi | +1.75 | 90 | 62 |
| #5 | pakedi♿ | +1.69 | 86 | 65 |





