








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2868 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2404 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,956 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | finlanderi | 45% | 73 |
| #12 | p2 | 41% | 123 |
| #13 | Swoop | 38% | 21 |
| #14 | viimeistelija | 38% | 37 |
| #15 | mirbs | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pakedi♿ | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Topi ♿ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | zesi | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | danzane | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | sli♿itiN | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Normaali | 337 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | p2 | 329 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | zesi | 271 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Topi ♿ | 252 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Zypher | 211 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Normaali | +5.04 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | zesi | +1.71 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | pakedi♿ | +1.42 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | finlanderi | +1.26 | 89 | 58 |
| #5 | danzane | +0.96 | 70 | 63 |





