








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4274 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4986 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4922 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4954 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,997 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Mati | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Kr1l3 | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | Twuuu | 57% | 51 |
| #4 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | Kragen | 56% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bogey | 52% | 199 |
| #8 | Certified | 51% | 69 |
| #9 | AndeZ | 50% | 240 |
| #10 | mickis- | 48% | 147 |
| #11 | Panda Plovpenning | 47% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndeZ | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Twuuu | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Bogey | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | mickis- | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Kr1l3 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndeZ | 571 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bogey | 439 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | mickis- | 400 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Certified | 297 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 274 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | +3.17 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | Twuuu | +2.79 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | Kr1l3 | +1.81 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Kragen | +1.57 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | Gen1e | +1.16 | 73 | 62 |





