








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 769 | 32% |
| Smokes | 588 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 410 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 664 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,258 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | big d | 76% | 41 |
| #3 | Pr0misee | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | flixxy^-^💞 | 68% | 66 |
| #5 | doltn^v^ | 61% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pr0misee | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | flixxy^-^💞 | 68% | 66 |
| #5 | doltn^v^ | 61% | 41 |
| #6 | arcade | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | zebra | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flixxy^-^💞 | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | zebra | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flixxy^-^💞 | 267 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | big d | 133 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pr0misee | 133 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | doltn^v^ | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | zebra | 104 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0misee | +3.45 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | beastman | +2.75 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | big d | +2.46 | 88 | 75 |
| #4 | spud | +2.09 | 89 | 76 |
| #5 | flixxy^-^💞 | +1.43 | 63 | 71 |





