








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2142 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1580 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,327 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K22G | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | Pr0misee | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | RiFT | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | flixxy^-^💞 | 65% | 158 |
| #5 | arcade | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | beastman | 61% | 41 |
| #8 | eutopia | 60% | 10 |
| #9 | big d | 57% | 30 |
| #10 | DJF | 57% | 23 |
| #11 | spud | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flixxy^-^💞 | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | K22G | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | DJF | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flixxy^-^💞 | 687 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | beastman | 156 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | zebra | 146 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pr0misee | 133 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | big d | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beastman | +3.30 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Pr0misee | +2.92 | 91 | 74 |
| #3 | DJF | +1.55 | 90 | 73 |
| #4 | flixxy^-^💞 | +1.32 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | spud | +1.18 | 86 | 73 |





