








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 12% |
| Smokes | 722 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 848 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $596,560 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monster Energy Zero | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | CAsTrO | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | tr1x | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | 我不懂中文 | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | TheSniffer | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \Spiky Spike/ | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Cock_Shaker | 13 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Hexxed | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | MOW MOW | 8 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Miki_sz | 6 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hexxed | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | \Spiky Spike/ | 197 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cock_Shaker | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | 我不懂中文 | 89 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | ArctoxUwU | 65 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monster Energy Zero | +2.87 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | \Spiky Spike/ | +2.17 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | DraghuvicFire | +2.08 | 64 | 23 |
| #4 | tr1x | +0.74 | 46 | 65 |
| #5 | Hexxed | +0.59 | 53 | 41 |





