








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2425 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2816 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2188 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1888 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,575 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \Spiky Spike/ | 248 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | MOW MOW | 239 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | 我不懂中文 | 191 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cock_Shaker | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | tr1x | 94 | 0.09 | 3 min |





