








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 898 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1705 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 854 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,483 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rainer Zufall | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Nunar | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Kinax // high af | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | crazy Horst | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 40% | 47 |
| #10 | FabiMK1 | 38% | 34 |
| #11 | Bretterverleih | 36% | 11 |
| #12 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 36% | 36 |
| #13 | Snow Nightdreams | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bast021 | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Na1tsa high af | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | FabiMK1 | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | crazy Horst | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | NoBrainJustAim | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Na1tsa high af | 499 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | crazy Horst | 213 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bast021 | 178 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 156 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bretterverleih | +3.67 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | Kinax // high af | +3.56 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Bast021 | +2.24 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | Na1tsa high af | +1.67 | 66 | 74 |
| #5 | crazy Horst | +0.98 | 61 | 54 |





