








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 24% |
| Smokes | 984 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1482 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1060 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,130 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nda-_- | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Elmer The One | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | FRANKLIN | 55% | 141 |
| #4 | Chad | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | Sebbern | 53% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FRANKLIN | 55% | 141 |
| #4 | Chad | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | Sebbern | 53% | 200 |
| #6 | JegErSuppe | 51% | 136 |
| #7 | kobe-wan kenobi | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebbern | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | FRANKLIN | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Chad | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | JegErSuppe | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | kobe-wan kenobi | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad | 973 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | Sebbern | 763 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | FRANKLIN | 591 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | JegErSuppe | 300 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Elmer The One | 80 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad | +4.15 | 91 | 76 |
| #2 | FRANKLIN | +2.73 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Sebbern | +0.78 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | Elmer The One | +0.35 | 69 | 47 |
| #5 | JegErSuppe | +0.32 | 69 | 63 |





