








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2433 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2488 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1690 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2226 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,905 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nda-_- | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Elmer The One | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Chad | 58% | 262 |
| #4 | Sebbern | 57% | 193 |
| #5 | Ræbbern | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chad | 58% | 262 |
| #4 | Sebbern | 57% | 193 |
| #5 | Ræbbern | 55% | 141 |
| #6 | JegErSuppe | 53% | 151 |
| #7 | kobe-wan kenobi | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebbern | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Ræbbern | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Chad | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | kobe-wan kenobi | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | JegErSuppe | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad | 1412 | 0.26 | 40 min |
| #2 | Sebbern | 717 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | JegErSuppe | 325 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ræbbern | 92 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | kobe-wan kenobi | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad | +3.00 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | FRANKLIN | +2.19 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | nda-_- | -0.35 | 41 | 68 |
| #4 | JegErSuppe | -0.36 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Sebbern | -0.49 | 56 | 61 |





