








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 14% |
| Smokes | 499 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 568 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,088 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dustiN | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Cardifus | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | recnad | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | Yoda | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | SighteN | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Yoda | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | SighteN | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | IKSYGREK | 58% | 24 |
| #7 | Mr. SataN | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | M4ntel | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardifus | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | SighteN | 118 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | recnad | 95 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | IKSYGREK | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr. SataN | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardifus | +3.04 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Yoda | +1.11 | 38 | 58 |
| #3 | SighteN | +1.01 | 65 | 79 |
| #4 | dustiN | +0.59 | 42 | 70 |
| #5 | recnad | +0.23 | 57 | 68 |





