








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1654 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1927 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1848 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,302 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dustiN | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | IKSYGREK | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | Cardifus | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | recnad | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | SighteN | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cardifus | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | recnad | 54% | 83 |
| #5 | SighteN | 54% | 69 |
| #6 | Yoda | 50% | 44 |
| #7 | Golden | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | recnad | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Yoda | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | IKSYGREK | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | SighteN | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Golden | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SighteN | 242 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | IKSYGREK | 160 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | recnad | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cardifus | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Yoda | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardifus | +2.69 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | SighteN | +0.32 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | Yoda | -0.14 | 48 | 59 |
| #4 | Mr. SataN | -0.46 | 54 | 71 |
| #5 | IKSYGREK | -0.49 | 62 | 62 |





