








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1092 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1695 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1544 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,562 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Cardifus | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | Mr. SataN | 54% | 83 |
| #4 | IKSYGREK | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | M4ntel | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IKSYGREK | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | M4ntel | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | Yoda | 51% | 43 |
| #7 | SighteN | 49% | 89 |
| #8 | dustiN | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IKSYGREK | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | SighteN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Mr. SataN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Yoda | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Golden | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SighteN | 327 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Cardifus | 274 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | IKSYGREK | 209 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr. SataN | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | dustiN | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardifus | +2.77 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | SighteN | +0.18 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | recnad | -0.29 | 55 | 69 |
| #4 | Yoda | -0.32 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | M4ntel | -0.47 | 80 | 53 |





