








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1290 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1048 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1280 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,056 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PadoruR | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | Addy -Y- | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | genesis | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | jourdain | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | BRACE | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Addy -Y- | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | genesis | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | jourdain | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | BRACE | 63% | 16 |
| #6 | hazr | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazr | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | jourdain | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Addy -Y- | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | PadoruR | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jourdain | 102 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Addy -Y- | 100 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | BRACE | 83 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | hazr | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | PadoruR | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St3rl1ng | +4.04 | 97 | 64 |
| #2 | hazr | +3.14 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | genesis | +2.94 | 96 | 63 |
| #4 | Addy -Y- | +2.50 | 91 | 71 |
| #5 | BRACE | +1.71 | 82 | 68 |





