










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1869 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1801 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1310 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1234 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,038 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarKoz | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ✪ BroKeN 暁 | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | JEFF | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Colo à chier sur | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Waxi | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Eloise | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | KenPachi | 40% | 20 |
| #9 | Sorryyy | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | Own3D | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eloise | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Own3D | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Sorryyy | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Colo à chier sur | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | KenPachi | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waxi | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ BroKeN 暁 | 105 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | KenPachi | 89 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Colo à chier sur | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Own3D | 60 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ BroKeN 暁 | +2.38 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | StarKoz | +2.00 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | Waxi | +1.92 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | +1.82 | 65 | 59 |
| #5 | Sorryyy | +1.13 | 72 | 53 |





